WHY IS THIS MAN BOOING BEN KONOP? LEAVE YOUR FUNNIEST ANSWER AS A COMMENT:

Shag
Btw. Here are some pix of my foot

Listen to the Zoo Wednesday June 3 For info on How to Bid

Name: Scottie Pimpin’

Age: 22

Favorite Restaurant: Yukai Buffet off of Laskin Rd

Hobbies: Hot yoga, making music and naked skeet shooting

Typical Date: A typical date with me would include monkeys, hot oils and oxygen tanks.

Favorite Chick Flick: White Chicks

Current Favorite Radio Song: Best I Ever Had, Drake.

Last Concert: Coldplay

What I Look For In A Girl: Honestly, what I look for in a girl isn’t always necessarily how pretty she is. Looks play a big part, but mainly I like a girl with a good head on her shoulders and who knows how to have a good time. She has to be fashion-savvy and have her own sense of style. A great personality is just as important as honesty. 5′5″ with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise and a body like heaven.

Worst Date Ever: I went out with this girl one time and the whole night went smoothly until after we decided to go out to a club after dinner. She ended up getting so hammered that she threw up all over herself on the way back home from the club. My car smelled like puke for almost a month until I got it cleaned. I never called her again.

“I’m pretty sure this person just escaped from a mental asylum.”

“This person actually thinks my car goes perfect with her shoes.”

“How are you gonna give me the ‘peace bro’ in front of a STOLEN CAR?”

“This guy is only here wondering when Smokey Bones opens.”

“You really got up, kept your pajamas on, and STILL came out to visit my car? Pathetic.”

“Now THIS girl can go for a ride in my car whenever she wants!”

“I think this girl thinks she just WON the car in some sort of contest…”

“If I ever saw this guy in the street, I would run him over with my car.”

“This guy is toast when I find out who he is. I’m gonna show up and kick HIM.”

“Put that tongue where it belongs lady. In that super-hot coffee. I hope you burn your tongue on it.”

In April, there’s going to be a huge auction of MICHAEL JACKSON’S personal belongings at the Beverly Hills Hotel.  It shouldn’t surprise you in the least that there are some pretty FREAKY items going up on the block.  They include the following . . .

–An electric cart with a picture of Michael as PETER PAN airbrushed on the hood.

–A portrait of Michael dressed up as an actual KING

–A spandex glove covered in orange Swarovski crystals.

–A robotic, metal head that was used in the movie “Moonwalker”.

–A limo with a SOLID GOLD BIDET in it.

–A painting of Michael with some other historical figures who are all wearing Michael’s sunglasses and single white glove.  Those historical figures are:  Albert Einstein, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, the Mona Lisa and E.T.  (???)

You can see even more weird items at this link:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/gallery/2009/feb/15/michael-jackson-auction?picture=343232869

So now we wait and see. What will happen? Will President Obama bring us the change we so desperately need?  I’m not sure, but there seems to be a new feeling rolling across this country-HOPE. It’s refreshing, isn’t it?  HOPE!  Haven’t had it in a while.

I don’t know if you voted for Barack Obama. I don’t know if you even like the guy. But look at it this way: whether you like him or not, it was time to call the bullpen and get a new kid on the mound. Well, we got one!  And honestly, I DON’T know if he’ll be a great President. I don’t know if he’ll bring us the change we need. But I know a change did us good, so let’s give the new kid a chance, OK?

Honestly, he couldn’t do much worse, right?

One more thing: remember it’s OK to wish and hope for change, but it’s better to BE the change you wish for. Don’t sit back and expect this thing to happen around you. BE A PART OF IT.

-N

Well I can think of a couple that I want to work on, and here they are (in no particular order):

1. Clean the Zoo office. It is an absolute MESS, no kidding! Right now I’m sitting in a pile that includes (no kidding) the following items: old balloons, a hockey stick, a jar of some liquid that I THINK used to be tea (but I don’t know what it is anymore), a golf club, a traffic pylon, a giant inflatable bottle of corona, a drum set, and now xmas lights. Yes. it’s a bizarre mess indeed.

2. Help other people more. I think this is a big one. I think I tend to take care of one person mostly-myself. But I’m in the position now where I can really help others, and I’d like to force myself to volunteer, even if it’s once a month, to help others. I need to do it.

3. Dress it up a little. I’ve been making a concerted effort when I go out to NOT just do the “jeans, t-shirt, and hat” thing as much. The theme of 09 is “dress it up a little”.  After all, I’m single again, and I need all the help I can GET, ya know?  Which brings me to…

4. Find HER. Boy, if there was one lesson I learned in the past year it’s THIS: sometimes you have to be involved with something you DON’T want, to find out what you really DO want.  I don’t think I have to get into it any further, but let’s just say I’m very clear now on what I DO want in a girlfriend, and definitely what I DON’T!!

5. No More Drama. I think I make this one for myself EVERY year, and by the end of the year I always have it in my life.  So I will be wiser and smarter this year, and let my head do more of the thinking than anything else, and hope for the best!

Those are MY resolutions. What are YOURS?

-N